Bandino

So, my dog Bandit has cancer…

I know that is a really depressing way to start a post, but I really don’t know what else to say.  I’m sad, but not all that worried.  Yes, we are going to put him down. Soon.  Probably Friday.  I think most of my sadness is actually for my mother.  Bandit is more her dog then he is mine.  Yes, I love him and have fond (and not so fond) memories of him, but his bond with me is definitely not as strong as it is with my mother.

I think this one is a lot harder for her too because we have only had about six months between putting down Bandit and putting down our other dog Smokey.  It’s harder too because Smokey was in so much pain.  She could barely eat or move, and she whined all the time.  With Bandit, he’s pretty much the same ladies’ man as always.  We both know though that in a few days he will begin to be in pain, so we figure that it’s best to do the deed sooner rather than later.

I also think this is easier for me because I’m more distant with our animals due to being away at school for the last four years. Smokey was actually my dog.  And, because she hit her worst while I was taking my finals, I couldn’t be there when she died.  I didn’t have to experience the whole process.  So, my distance from my dogs has made both deaths easier, but I also think that Bandits may be harder.

My mom had to take care of Smokey; my dog.  If my job allows me to leave for an hour this Friday, I feel that’s it’s my time to return the favor.  I’m going to take Bandit to the vet; not my mom.  This also opens up the door for any residual emotions left over from Smokey’s death.

I also can’t stop thinking about books with major dog characters.  Like Of Mice and Men, Old Yeller, and The Art of Racing in the Rain.  I can’t stop thinking about whether Bandit really knows and understands that he isabout to die.  We’ve talked about it at the dinner table while he drools on my foot.  He’s not in pain.  Does he really know what’s happening internally? And, what’s about to happen?

That’s all I really have.  I have to leave for work tomorrow which kind of suck because I won’t be able to chill with him these last few days.  I guess I’ll just have to take it as it comes.